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Selasa, 27 November 2018
Morning! So I managed to delete all inappropriate posts in my blog which is I actually sayang but then, its for my own good.
Let just write something here. Im 22 and just finished my internship which i can say, it quite fun with the environment of work and people and the interns too. I had a few favourites friends there, Jia he, Lisa, Akmal, Raphael, Vanessa and Sharlene.
So i was crushed on someone who also interns there. We were good friend and suddenly i fall for him in many way i cant describes. The feeling is so mutual that ive never feel that for many years.
So ive been thinking whether to confess or not. Then pap! On the last day i confess thru whatsapp. It was a bad idea cause he did'nt feel the same way as i am. But that was not the main disappointment, i regret my confessions bcs we were good friend and i just put some border between us.
But its okay, we promised to pretend nothing had happened which i think we both are matured enough to handle. But i still hate myself where i still hoping on his ‘take care’ word. I know he just being nice and don’t want me to feel bad for confessing.
I just dont know what wrong with myself. Why did I be so brave to confess actually at first place? That was my first time i like someone and eager to let him know. Its a mistake for being rejected and im just AFRAID TO LOVE AGAIN atlease for a year or two.
Im gonna focus on myself, build my career being surround with good friends and believe Allah will send me someone who worth me more than i worth myself.
I always pray Allah wont let me falls for the wrong person ever again.
Cause heart break is really hurt. He just take half of myself on the day he rejected or kind of value our friendship more than something else. I just drain myself out to the point i cant breathe cause its really hurt. Reflected to the quotes i always read ‘the more hopes you put on a thing, the hurts you will get when its not work’.
Thats the price i need to pay and i pray to Allah please dont let me get into that phase ever again. Ok I think thats all for now. I’ll write something again someday. Thanks so called diary.
Xoxo
Ti
